


Terrible Life Choices

by Finale



Series: Choices [1]
Category: DCU (Comics), Green Lantern (Comics), The Flash (Comics)
Genre: Babies, Eobard Thawne is finally going to pop up, F/M, Gen, Lisa keeps popping up, Lisa why do you keep popping up?, because that irritating fucker needs to, cisswapped characters, for once cross posting between tumblr and Ao3, the Barry Allen/Eobard Thawne is implied and one sided
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-20
Updated: 2016-07-09
Packaged: 2018-04-15 15:57:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 7,778
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4612647
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Finale/pseuds/Finale
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>First time they've seen each other in over a year and each has her own surprise...(And the continuing adventures of two dysfunctional couples magically keeping their shit together for once in their existence)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

“I think our friendship at this point runs off of making similar, terrible life choices,” Hallie snarks.

She adjusts the burnt umber babysling, peeking in to watch Marty continue sleeping. He’s sucking on one, tiny magenta fist and happily snoozing against her chest. Barry has her daughter, Nora, cradled in her arms. Fair hair sticks up haphazardly on both mother and daughter and Hallie has to bite back a grin.

“Shut up,” grumbles Barry. “At least Len got a pardon and is working with the Justice League. What’s Sinestro up to again?”

“At the moment getting drinks cause I told him to,” Hallie says, sticking out her tongue.

“Huh, I told Len to do the same thing,” Babby says absently.

Both freeze as they realize what they say and look over at the counter. Sinestro is still recognizably Sinestro, even using a trick of the ring to alter the more alien aspects of his appearance. And Len is well, Len. The two men are chatting of all things, both seemingly at ease.

“This could end interestingly.”

******************

"So, are you and Hallie going to be staying around long?" Len asks, grabbing the two iced drinks he'd ordered for himself and Barry. 

"A while. She wanted to introduce our son to her brother and several cousins and her godparents," Sinestro says, retrieving the drinks he'd ordered for himself and Hallie. "How long do you continue at playing hero?"

"Probably for good seeing as being a hero got me a happy, healthy relationship and a daughter," Len says with a shrug as they walk over to where their significant others are sitting. "How long until you and Hallie end up at each other's throats?"

"Later tonight when we're both tired and irritable from dealing with a baby," Sinestro replies, handing Hallie her drink and pressing a kiss against her cheek. 

"What's happening later tonight?" Hallie asks, raising a curious eyebrow at Sinestro. 

"We'll probably end up fighting and then having makeup sex," he replies, ignoring Barry choking on her first sip of her iced drink. 

"Probably," she agrees.

"So, how have things been on Earth with the changes in the League?"


	2. Chapter 2

Len yawns as he goes to answer the door, being careful not to jostle Nora as she cuddles against his chest. He’d just changed her when the doorbell rang, so she’s just in a diaper with little Flash insignias on it and socks. Barry is still asleep, tired after chatting with Hallie late last night on the phone; Earth’s former senior Green Lantern is in Israel and had been telling Barry about how introducing baby Martin and Sinestro to her Aunt and uncle had gone. 

Apparently her Uncle had punched Sinestro in the face. Then welcomed him into the family. Sounded like an interesting guy. 

The doorbell rings again and Len speeds up. He doesn’t want Barry waking up, she needs more sleep. He flicks open the locks and tugs the door shut. When he sees who’s on the stoop he’s tempted to slam it shut again, but with the look Lisa gives him he knows she’d just have Mick burn the damn door down and he’d like to get back the deposit on this place. 

“Hi Lisa,” Len sighs, adjusting his hold slightly on Nora. 

“Hi Lenny,” she says, sugary sweet. “So, did you forget to tell me something?” she asks, pointedly looking at Nora.

“Maybe,” he mumbles, stepping aside to let her into the apartment. 

“So I’ve got a niece,” Lisa says. “Seems your crush on the Flash finally went somewhere.”

She goes to try to pick up Nora out of Len’s arms but he shies back, not really thinking about it. One of the last times he’d seen Lisa she’d threatened to kill him, even months after getting empowered furious with him. Even though he’d always been close to Lisa, even though he’d always been the overly protective big brother, he doesn’t want his sister holding his daughter. 

Lisa stills at his reaction. Something strange crosses her face, but she draws back from him. Nora grumbles crankily, unhappy at being jostled. He rubs at her back gently, soothing her. Len knows he needs to wake up Barry in about an hour so she can feed Nora, but hopefully Lisa will be gone by then. 

“Len?” calls Barry’s familiar alto. 

Never mind, she’s awake. Fuck.

“In the living room. We have a visitor,” he says, raising his voice enough to throw it. 

“Is it Hallie? She said she’d be stopping by today…and you are most definitely not Hallie,” she finishes as she walks into the room, yawning and spotting Lisa. 

Len chokes slightly; Barry had only put on one of his shirts, not bothering with pants and he hopes she bothered with panties. By how messy her hair is she’d probably just grabbed it off the floor and wasn’t really awake yet. The shirt goes down to mid-thigh on her, the speedster thankfully petite. He doesn’t want his girlfriend accidentally flashing his sister. 

“So this is what you look like with the mask off?” Lisa asks, studying Barry. “Huh, didn’t think you’d be blonde. Thought you were a red head for some reason.”

“I’m very blonde,” Barry says and she speeds directly behind Len. “Nora please,” she orders. “She needs food.”

“You normally don’t feed her for another hour?” Len says, turning to hand her Nora. 

The seven month old snuggles into Barry’s chest, accidentally rising the shirt by about an inch. Barry ignores that, grinning down at Nora instead and planting a kiss on hair as fair as her own. 

“Normally I don’t, but I think you should be having a chat with your sister sans baby and I think Nora needs a better outfit than a diaper and socks. So chat with Lisa, if she hurts you I’m dumping her in the middle of the Pacific, and tell me when things are done,” Barry says, pressing a kiss against Len’s cheek, having to stand on her very tiptoes to do so. “Also, don’t shave.”

“Alright,” says Len, catching her in a quick kiss. 

“Did she just threaten to dump me in the middle of the Pacific Ocean?” Lisa asks, raising an eyebrow as she watches Barry walk away with Nora. 

“Eh, she probably wouldn’t actually do it,” Len says with a shrug. 

“Now, Lisa, what do you really want?”


	3. Chapter 3

When Lex walks into Snart’s office, he isn’t expecting his Head of Security to be sitting on the floor, staring incredulously at his daughter. The blonde toddler was toddling around the office, steps uneasy, but a bright smile on her face. That doesn’t surprise him; Lex had already seen the tiny blonde’s tottering steps before, this was hardly the first time Snart had taken her to the office. So why his Head of Security was looking so incredulous didn’t make sense…

His thoughts trail off as he watches Nora Allen-Snart suddenly toddle at superspeed.

“So, I’m going to assume you and Barry need to redo your babyproofing,” Lex asks casually, watching as Snart drops his head into his hands. 

“Yup,” Snart sighs, both of them watching Nora toddle over, then promptly pop back up again, completely content. “So much damn babyproofing.” 

“I thought her mother’s powers came from an accident…?”

“Yeah, I don’t get it either. Genetics don’t work like this, but, speedster toddler,” Snart says, gesturing at Nora. “We’re going to have to buy her so many shoes.”

“Well,” Lex says, watching Nora run into Snart this time, “at least she didn’t end up with ice powers too.”

***************

Both Hallie and Sinestro stare down silently at Marty’s crib as the eight-month-old baby creates shining yellow constructs for his own amusement. No ring was on the baby’s tiny, chubby hand, and both knew the most likely reason for this. Sinestro could damn near sense Parallax’s smugness. 

“We should have thought about the possibility of this,” Hallie sighs, shutting her eyes. “We both know how obsessed with me Parallax is. We should have figured it would somehow managed to do something to Marty.”

“He is still our son,” Sinestro says firmly, wrapping his arms around her waist and resting his chin on top of her head. 

“No shit,” Hallie says, snorting. “No, I mean, we seriously should have thought about this, because now we need to be extra careful if we decide to have another kid.”

“True,” Sinestro agrees. 

“Bet you Barry and Len don’t have to deal with this bullshit,” Hallie sighs. “Or that bullshit,” she grumbles, them both jerking at a sudden banging noise that they know is coming from the Sinestro Corps recruits. 

Hallie had been…less than pleased by his decision to retake control of his Corps, but acknowledged the necessity at least, and hadn’t left him, taking their son with him. She’d even accepted a yellow ring, to be used, as she said, only as backup, or when she absolutely had to. 

“I’ll go see what the recruits broke,” Sinestro says with a sigh. “And try to figure out exactly how Parallax managed to give Marty powers.”

“Okay, good,” Hallie says, picking up the baby as he starts to fuss. “I’m gonna go message Barry, see how Nora and Earth are. Make sure I don’t have to make a quick to throw Len into the sun, the usual.”

“Have fun.”

*****************

“How the hell did Nora end up with superspeed?” Hallie asks, giving her best friend an incredulous look. “You’re connection to the Speed Force isn’t genetic I thought?”

“Apparently we’re either wrong or Nora randomly ended up with a meta gene that just so happened to match my powers,” Barry says, running hands through her messy pixie cut. “And didn’t you just say Marty was demonstrating fear powers?”

“Which we at least know the cause of,” Hallie points out. “At least she didn’t end up with ice powers?”

“At least,” Barry agrees, turning as she hears something that Hallie can’t. 

Len walks into the room, shirtless and holding a sleeping Nora, the toddler in jammies that look like they have little Wonder Woman symbols on them. He says something to Barry that Hallie can’t quite catch and she wants to laugh at her friend. Barry practically has hearts in her eyes while looking at Len. 

“You guys are too cute,” Hallie says with a snicker once Len walks back out. 

“Wha?” Barry asks, baffled. 

“You practically had hearts in your eyes Bare.”

“Shut up,” Barry pouts. “He’s my fiancé, I’m allowed to look at him like that.”

“True,” Hallie agrees. She can hear Thaal approaching their room. “Well, go take advantage of that and Nora sleeping. I’m going to find out what a recruit broke and leave new hickies on my husband’s neck.” 

Husband. Wife. Fun words, even if they weren’t technically legally married any where, they basically were at this point.

“Night.”

“Night. Have fun riding your fiancé.”

“Hallie!”


	4. Chapter 4

“Is this a teddy bear dressed like Len?” Hallie asks gleefully, picking up a white teddy bear. “And one dressed like you?”

“Yes. Clark sucks soooo much,” Barry groans, plopping down on her couch. “He decided the League should do a fundraising effort, and as a result, teddy bear heroes.”

“They’re so cute,” Hallie coos, picking up one dressed up like her. There’s one like all of her fellow Lanterns, though they kept Guy and Kyle in their Green Lanterns instead of their Red and White suits. “I want them all. Then I’m going to buy a second set for Marty.”

“Sinestro would throw them out,” Barry points out. “Len’s threatening to set his on fire.”

“If Sinestro ever wants to have sex with me again he won’t,” Hallie says with a snort. “I’ll be nice, I won’t encourage Marty’s favorite to be Guy or Kyle.”

“I think Marty’s decided he like’s Diana’s best. Or that it’s the most chewable,” Barry says, looking over to were the Korugarian-human hybrid baby is chewing on the ear of a Wonder Bear. Nora seemed to be arranging the Robin bears, each with a different mask. 

“Awww,” Hallie murmurs, snapping a photo of Marty. “I made such a cute baby.”

Barry snorts at her and she grins at her best friend, completely unashamed. She and Sinestro had made a cute baby. He was starting to hint at wanting another (or five). He may get another one (but definitely not five because owwww). 

“You and Len ever think about another kid?” Hallie asks, a bit curious.

“We’ve talked about it,” Barry admits, “but we’ve agreed to wait another year or so. What about you?”

“Thaal wants more,” Hallie says, putting down her phone. “Like, I’m fine with one more, but he’s hinted at wanting a lot more.”

“Is it…is it because of what happened to Korugar?” Barry asks delicately.

“No,” Hallie snorts. “Though that would make sense. No, he always planned on having a big family. Then I guess there were issues during his first wife’s pregnancy with Soranik, so they decided against risking another pregnancy and the civil war on Korugar got worse. When we originally got involved we knew human/Korugarian crossbreeding was possible, but after everything went to hell, kinda obviously I stopped ever thinking about it. Apparently he didn’t. Thaal was ecstatic about Marty.” 

“And now he wants to give Marty a bunch of younger siblings?”

“Yup.”

Barry narrows her eyes at Hallie, something occurring to her. 

“He’s totally the type of dad who doesn’t know how to say ‘no’ to his kids, isn’t he?”

“Oh my fucking god yes. I’m going to have to be the one who tells Marty ‘no’. It’s annoying. I wanted to be the ‘cool’ parent. Instead I think I’m going to be the one who lays down the law,” Hallie says, a look of horror on her face. “Because Thaal? Fucking sucks at saying no, or not bringing Marty new toys, or spoiling him.”

“That’s hilarious,” Barry snickers. “He doesn’t seem like he would be.”

“He doesn’t, but he is,” Hallie sighs fondly. “Which is also how I’m going to get away with bringing home all the new stuffed animals. Even the ones that look like Guy and Kyle. Because they’re for the baby.”

“What’s for the baby?” asks Thaal, her husband strolling in through the door, a vague look of irritation on his face. Hallie can hear in the background what she suspects to be Len doing something. 

“Justice League teddy bears,” she says with a grin, gesturing to the toys. “Marty seems to really like the Wonder Woman teddy bear,” she adds. 

“He seems to be very enthusiastically chewing on its ear,” Thaal says diplomatically, kissing her. “How many toys are there?” he asks suspiciously. 

“As many as there are Justice League members,” Hallie says serenely. “Look, there’s one of me,” she practically shoves the bear into his face, making him jerk back in surprise. “And ones of Barry, Len, Batman, Superman, Kyle, Guy, Nightwing, Flash number 2, that fuck face Alan Scott…” she trails off, still grinning as he gives her a flat look. “They’re for the baby, you can’t say no.”

“Yes I can.”

“But are you?”

“…Please subtly bring them home?”

“No promises.”

**********

Mick jumps as the door suddenly bangs open and he can’t help but feel wary at the gleeful look on Lisa’s face. In her hands is what looks like a teddy bear in a parka. It looks like in her purse is another teddy bear wearing Len’s Flash’s outfit. It dawns on him after seeing that just what it may be that Lisa is holding. 

“Is that a teddy bear dressed like Len?” Hartley asks, the former Rogue having dropped by to chat. 

“Yes, yes it is,” Lisa says, still gleeful. “They made an entire Justice League series of teddy bears. I bought the one of Lenny and his Flash.”

“Time for awkward pose photos for the bears and posting them to Twitter?”

“Oh yeah.”


	5. Chapter 5

            “How strong is this booze?” Len demands, grabbing the bottle of weird alien alcohol that Hallie and Sinestro had brought with them. “Because I need to blank out a good twenty minutes of memory.”

 

            “Strong enough that a few sips get Hallie drunk,” Sinestro says, studying the former thief. “Why do you need to erase several minutes worth of memory?”

 

            “So, question to all of us here,” Len says without answering Sinestro. “Anyone else wonder why Lex decided to stop being a criminal? Because as we all know, I had two beautiful reasons,” he says, smiling warmly at Barry and Nora. “Never was sure why Lex was so interested in it. Now I do.”

 

            “And…?” Hallie asks, giving him a curious look. “Is it because now he can try and get into Superman’s pants? Because I’ve got about two hundred riding on that.”

 

            “Well, you won your two hundred,” Len says, throwing back the alient booze like it’s a shot. “Oh dear god that’s awful,” he chokes.

 

            “So is the thought of Lex and Kal having sex, which is what I’m assuming you’re trying to forget,” Barry says, gently guiding him to the couch. “Don’t drink the alien booze, that’s for Sinestro to drink.”

 

            “Oh, I’m fine with him making an idiot of himself drinking _d’ven_ ,” Sinestro says with a smirk. “I also have much more interesting things to distract myself with,” he adds, pulling a giggling Hallie across his lap and damn near leering down her shirt.

 

            “How the hell much of this hooch did you have?” Len asks, gaping at the duo. They could be pretty damn blatant at times, but normally not this bad.

 

            “A lot,” Barry informs him. “Or at least Sinestro has. Hallie’s still breastfeeding and hasn’t had much, but, well,” she grimaces as she watches her best friend’s hand slip to parts of her husband she shouldn’t be touching in a semi public setting, “Hallie is Hallie.”

 

            “Do _not_ have sex on our couch you two, oh my god, I shouldn’t even have to say that,” Len says, a bit horrified.

           

            “We won’t,” Hallie says, even as her hands slip under Sinestro’s pants.

 

            “Oh my god, do that in the guest room you two!”

 

                                                            ****************

 

            “What the fuck was up with you last night?” Barry demands the next morning as Hallie walks out of the guest room, and almost sheepish look on the brunette’s face.

 

            “So remember me getting blasted by that weird pink ray earlier yesterday?” Hallie asks.

 

            “Yes,” Barry says. “The one that reminded you of a Star Sapphire?”

 

            “Yup. Increased my sex drive dramatically. Between that and Thaal drinking _d’ven,_ which is a bit of an aphrodisiac for Korugarians…”

 

            “You owe me new sheets and new earplugs.”

 

            “Sorry.”

 

            “No you’re not.”

           

            “No I’m not.”


	6. Chapter 6

            Guy fucking hates everything right now. He hates the fact he slept for less than two hours last night. He hates the new seats in Watchtower. He hates that he only gets to get near Earth when there’s been some sort of fucked up crisis. He hates how strongly he can feel his rage burning from the red ring right now.

 

He hates that this is the first time he’s seen Hallie in almost two years and she’s leaning back against Sinestro while his arms are wrapped around her waist. That she’s holding a baby that is very obviously Sinestro’s. That she very obviously is with Sinestro again, even if she is wearing a green ring still and not a yellow.

 

Guy scowls as he realizes he dented the chair arms, the surprisingly weak metal folding under his angry hold. Fuck, he hates getting Hallie’s relationship shoved in his face like this, but he needs to control his temper. He already knew that Hallie and Sinestro were involved. He knew about Marty’s existence. He thought he’d hold his temper a bit better.

 

            Guess fucking not.

 

                                                            *************

 

            “Huh, took Guy only five minutes to break his chair,” Barry murmurs, almost too low for Len to catch it.

 

            “What?” Len murmurs back, confused.

 

            “Guy Gardner, former Green Lantern, now Red Lantern, and wouldn’t I give anything to know what’s up with that, just broke his chair,” Barry explains, catching Len’s eyes. “Guy’s had a massive crush on Hallie for years,” she explains. “Never said a word to her, and Hallie’s honestly kinda shitty at figuring out if people are romantically attracted to her. But like any good Green Lantern he hates Sinestro’s guts, and well…”

 

            “Sinestro and Hallie are romantically involved,” Len finishes. “Hallie seems fine at figuring out when people are romantically interested in her. I’ve seen the list of her ex’s.”

 

            “No, she’s good at noticing people sexually interested in her,” Barry corrects. “She picked up on Sinestro’s interest at first because they were both very sexually attracted to each. He was also apparently very interested in being her friend. And in a non-sexual sense I mean,” she adds, realizing how that may sound. “He and Abin Sur, Hallie’s predecessor were really close friends. I guess he was hoping to become friends with Abin Sur’s successor and honor his memory that way.”

 

            “And decided instead he also wanted to bone her.”

 

            “Shush.”

 

            “It’s true!”

 

            _“Shush!”_


	7. Christmasy thing

Lisa holds Nora on her hip, fourteen month old chewing on a teething toy in the shape of a lightening bolt. She’d managed to coax Barry and Len into letting her keep an eye on Nora for the day. Hopefully the two would take advantage of it to make Nora a younger sibling. Or sleep, they probably needed that too, she silently acknowledges. But she’d rather get another niece or nephew. Nora was adorable! 

“So, think these are cute snowflake?” she asks, holding up a pair of toddler-sized ice skates for her and Nora to both stare at. “Never too young to start skating.”

“Meh,” Nora informs her solemnly, going back to her teething. 

“Yeah, you’re right,” Lisa says, putting down the skates. “Not gaudy enough. We need more sparkles and glitter.”

Out of the corner of her eye she spots the perfect set and grins. 

“Oh, Lenny is going to kill me!” 

*****************

“So she bought Nora a tiny Flash ice skating outfit and a tiny Captain Cold ice skating outfit?” Hallie asks, adjusting herself slightly as Marty nurses. 

“Yup. Two tiny pairs of skates, two tiny outfits,” Barry says with a nod, wrapping up Christmas presents. “I like them. I think Lisa was disappointed that Len thought they were cute instead of getting annoyed at them.”

“Finally accepted that now that he’s a hero, there’s a ton of swag involved?”

“Please never say swag again. You’re 45, it’s weird.”

“Fuck you,” Hallie says cheerfully. “And I barely look 30.”

“That’s because when you got resurrected you also got seriously deaged,” Barry points out. “Also, you ever noticed we’re not aging the way we should?” She growls slightly as gets a bunch of tape on her hands for the third time that night. 

“You know, she’s fourteen months old, she’s not going to care how well wrapped the presents are,” Hallie points out, gently burping Marty. “Hell, she’ll probably spend most of her time playing in the wrapping paper.”

“I know, but I want at least the pictures to look perfect, even if she’s not going to care now,” Barry explains. “And I see you’re ignoring the age thing.”

“Barry, we got superpowers from lightening and space jewelry, age irregularities are literally the least of our concerns,” Hallie points out. “Besides, based on Jay Garrick, I think the Speed Force is what’s keeping you young. I suspect between my resurrection and Parallax’s obsession with me, I don’t need to worry about proper aging.”

“You’ve thought about this,” Barry accuses, narrowing her eyes slightly at Hallie. 

“A bit yeah,” she admits with a grimace. “Thaal’s going to outlive me probably. The average Korugarian lives for three hundred years. He’s not even seventy.”

“He’s seventy?” Barry asks, a bit thrown. 

“Barry, I have an adult stepdaughter who is Wally’s age. How old did you think Thaal was?” Hallie asks, giving her an odd look. “And I said not even seventy. He’s closer to a Terran 67 in years, but in Korugarian terms he’s about the equivalent to a 40 year old. He’ll stay like that until he’s about 150.”

“I’m so confused on how Korugarian aging works,” Barry says, that short explanation not making much sense. 

“Honestly, so am I and I actually studied it for a while to figure that out. But yeah, my bigger concern is the fact I’m probably going to die years before him, if I manage to make it to old age. Least you don’t have to worry about that with Len.”

“As you just reminded me though, Speed Force.”

“Well damn.”

“You know what? Lets just focus on the presents and deal with this later,” Barry decides. “Lets make this the best first Christmas for the babies, and don’t point out you don’t celebrate Christmas, that’s a load of bullshit. You love getting presents on Christmas,” Barry says, cutting Hallie off. 

“I already exchanged presents with Thaal during Hanukkah,” Hallie points out. “Seeing as, it’s, yah know, the holiday I actually observe.”

“What did you give him?” Barry asks, double checking the one gift bag she has for Len. He’ll love what’s inside. 

“And agreement to try for another baby,” Hallie says with a slight smile. “Two years should be a good enough age gap between the two.”

“Gotta agree with that,” Barry murmurs, but refuses to explain further. 

********************

Len stares in confusion at the tiny onesie he pulls out of the gift bag. It’s got a little snowflake made out of lightening bolts on it, but he’s not sure why Barry gave it to him. Or why it’s way too small for Nora. She wouldn’t have been able to fit into an outfit like this for months, so what…

A reason why slowly dawns on him. 

“Barry, are you pregnant?” he asks hopefully, staring at his fiancée. 

“Yup. Doctor just confirmed it,” Barry says with a smile. “I’m close to ten weeks along. Looks like next year we’re going to need a bigger tree.”


	8. Chapter 8

Len stares in horror at the words on the computer screen in front of him, wanting to blank out his memory again. Somehow, this was a thousand times worse than walking in on Lex balls deep in Superman. A million times worse. 

People were writing bad, bad, smutty fanfiction about him and Barry. 

Even worse, he realizes with growing horror at the penname, Lisa is writing bad smut about him and Barry. 

****************

Hartley gapes at Lisa as the blonde thief dumps more sugar into her coffee. He’s pretty sure soon the beverage will be more sugar than coffee. His own tea, sweetened liberally with honey he almost feels now is too sweet after watching that. Or maybe it’s more disgust over what Lisa just admitted to. 

“You wrote bad smut fanfic about Len and the Flash?” he hisses, incredulous. “Are you insane Lisa?!?!”

“Nope,” she says, a bit smug. “It’s hilarious.”

“It’s creepy,” Hartley corrects. “Like, if it was me, or even Mick or Mark, it wouldn’t be so creepy. But as his little sister, the fact you wrote terrible NSFW fanfic about him and his fiancée is creepy as fuck.”

“It’s hilarious because Lenny is freaking out over it,” Lisa says stubbornly. “Besides, it’s not like I focused on him that much.”

“Lisa, I hate to break it to you, but for someone supposedly straight those fics demonstrate you think about Barry naked an awful lot,” Hartley points out. “Like, more than a villain should. I’m not even going to touch on the fact you’re apparently thinking about your brother’s sex life way too often too.”

“You think about the younger Flash, Barry’s nephew naked a lot,” Lisa retorts. 

“Yeah, I’ve also had sex with him. I’m allowed to. Thinking about your brother’s fiancée naked, especially the way you are, is telling. Even more so since I think you’re using your brother as a place holder for yourself in those fics.”

“No I’m not!”

“Lisa, I hate to break it to you, but at least three of those fics rely on sex acts that only really work with a strap on. You’ve had boyfriends. You know how dicks work. Just accept your crush on Barry Allen and let it go.”

“You are a terrible friend and Rogue,” Lisa informs him with a grumble. 

“Which is probably why I’m no longer a Rogue and instead am dating a cop,” Hartley points out. “Now I get sex instead of jail time, and the only time the cuffs get broken out with David it’s in a fun manner.”

“Fuck off Hartley.”

***************

“Lisa wrote some of these?” Hallie asks, reading the fanfiction in appalled fascination. “Why do so many people think you and I have sex?” she asks, a bit stuck on that. “Just because you’re friends with someone doesn’t mean you’re also fuck buddies.” 

“Well, we have had sex before,” Barry points out, curling up on the couch and drinking some chamomile tea. “Like, yeah, it was back in the days when I was married to Iris and it was the three of us, but we have had sex. Unlike all the fic about you and Bruce.”

“Bruce and I come across like we’re going to want to have angry sex with each other. Sex with you and Iris was great, I miss the vibrating. I’m kinda in awe of the amount of people who wrote fic about me and Thaal.”

“Hallie, most superhero conspiracy blogs for years theorized you two were exes. I’d be more surprised if there weren’t fanfic,” Barry says. “And you can still have vibrating during sex, you and he misuse your rings all the damn time.”

“We do. It’s so much damn fun. Are you sure…?”

“No, Len and I are not having a foursome with you and Sinestro. Did he even agree to you suggesting it?”

“He did when I mentioned you can vibrate and Len’s hot enough.”

“The fuck is wrong with you?”

“So many things. But not as many as Lisa, because seriously, who the fuck writes porn involving their brother and future sister-in-law?”


	9. Chapter 9

“Barry, I don’t think that’s a good idea,” Hallie says, glancing over at the phone she has on speaker. Marty spits back the apple sauce she’s trying to feed him and she has to bite back a sigh. “Like, aren’t things awkward as hell between you two and Lisa since it came out she was writing smutty fanfiction about you?”

“A bit,” Barry admits. “But she’s still Len’s little sister and they’ve always been close.”

“Barry, last year she threatened to kill him,” Hallie points out. “That’s why they weren’t on speaking terms when Nora was born.”

“Lisa was pissed at him for a good reason. Giving them meta powers like that could have backfired horribly and kinda did,” Barry says, sighing into the phone. “So you really don’t think I should invite Lisa over for dinner?”

“You drown in awkward on a regular basis, so yes, I think it’s a terrible idea,” Hallie snarks, trying to once again get her picky eater of a son to eat his apple sauce. “Stop spitting up Marty,” she scolds. “It’s yummy for you.”

“You know, you should probably try feeding him something other than apple sauce,” Barry suggests, realizing what her friend is doing. “You’ve been trying for a couple weeks now, it hasn’t worked yet. We can’t get Nora to eat yams, and so we stopped. Stop trying to feed your baby something he doesn’t like. Didn’t he like that gross mushed spinach stuff?”

“I loved applesauce when I was a kid,” Hallie says with a pout, wrinkling her nose at the thought of the disgusting looking spinach thing that Marty adored, finally giving up after Marty tries to spit in her face. “Rude,” she informs the almost year old, putting the spoon and little bowl in the sink. 

“Who’s rude?” Thaal asks, somehow not walking into anything even though he’s reading. 

“The baby,” Hallie says. “He won’t eat his applesauce.”

“I told you it would be too sweet for him,” Thaal sighs, giving her a look over his book. “Korugarian tastes buds don’t handle sweet very well for the first two years of life.”

“Yeah well, human taste buds can,” Hallie grumbles. “And he otherwise seems to like human food.” 

She glances at the book he’s reading. Hallie’s pretty sure he’s reading Machiavelli’s The Prince, and she wants to make fun of him so badly. And point out that he doesn’t need a manual on how to be a despotic douchebag, but by the slight glare he just threw her she knows he knows what she’s thinking. She just smirks at him and goes to get the baby new food. 

“Talk to you later Barry. And don’t invite Lisa over for dinner!”

**************  
“So…guess what I did,” Barry says the next day, popping up at Hallie’s apartment, startling her. 

“What?” Hallie asks, letting her friend in and ignoring the odd look Barry gives her when she realizes all Hallie’s wearing is a shirt that barely covers her. She just got out of bed with her husband; she doesn’t need to be dressed.

“Well, we did have Lisa over for dinner last,” Barry begins. 

“If that ended in a threesome I’m going to laugh my ass off at you,” Hallie interrupts, watching as Barry turns bright red. “Okay, you’re bright red in a way you only get when you did something embarrassing. Am I right? You had a threesome with both your fiancé and your future sister-in-law?”

“Shut up Hallie,” Barry hisses. 

“Oh my god you did,” she snickers. “Good job Bare, that’s really going to help things.”

“Why are you my best friend?” Barry bemoans. “Why can’t my best friend be someone normal, like Clark?”

“Because Clark is presently fucking Luthor and causing Batman to sulk because he’s fucking Luthor?” Hallie snarks, grabbing some grapes. “And I really don’t think we can call the last member of a lost race normal. Or someone who was raised in Kansas of all places normal.” 

“Speaking of aliens, where’s yours? He’s normally up before you,” Barry asks, realizing they were the only ones moving around the apartment. 

“I wore him out,” Hallie says, deeply satisfied. “Because I’m awesome.”

“I don’t want to know,” Barry says with a shake of her head. “And no, I didn’t have a threesome with Len and Lisa. ImadeoutwithLisathough.”

“You did what?” Hallie asks flatly. She’s been friends with Barry more than long enough to understand speedster. “Why would you do that?”

“I had too much to drink, it seemed like a good idea, and Len thought it was funny,” Barry drops her head on her folded arms, staring at Hallie from across the kitchen island with big blue eyes. “I fucked up.”

“I’m assuming you mean you may have made things worse with Lisa, if Len just thinks it was funny,” Hallie says, eating more grapes. “Kissing someone who has a crush on you and is probably having a crisis of sexuality is mean. Like, I’m the one of us who normally does that. Though exchange gender for species,” she adds thoughtfully. 

“I don’t want to know, because I know that wasn’t a reference to Sinestro,” Barry says. “Since you have mentioned his first wife wasn’t Korugarian either.”

“Arin was Ungaran and the little sister of the Green Lantern of Sector 2814 before me,” Hallie says serenely. “But yeah, not at all who I was referencing. For once.”

“I hate you so much for telling me enough about your sex life that I know what you’re referencing,” Barry says, glaring slightly. “Either way,” she pouts, poking Hallie’s arm. “You have to help me figure out how to deal with this.”

“Since when have I ever been good at romantic relationships? You know how my two longest term relationships have gone,” Hallie points out. “The fact that Carol has never throttled me is amazing and the fact that Thaal and I actually married is a miracle.”

“…It’s sad that that’s true,” Barry says, stealing some of Hallie’s grapes. “I should have gone to Iris, shouldn’t I?”

“No shit Barry,” Hallie says, giving her another flat look. “Your ex-wife, who you had a completely functional relationship with and probably has a better idea of how to deal with this, is definitely the person you should have gone with. I think the new baby is messing with you’re head. Can you get baby brain when only two months pregnant?”

“Shut up Hallie.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I should just accept this story is never truly ending and will always just get random, relatively closed, new chapters.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is a headcanon thing in here concerning my views on Hal Jordan's original time as Parallax. Also, a lot of implication of pre-Nu52 events/reference to canon character deaths. So just as a heads up...

            Barry frowns at her maternity clothes, having forgotten just how ugly some of the things she’d purchased her first pregnancy were. Well, at least the stuff she’d bought at the start of her pregnancy, when she was still trying to hide things and pretend Len wasn’t Nora’s daddy. That she hadn’t fucked one of the men who vied for the position of ‘arch nemesis’.

 

            Speaking of which, she should really figure out why she hasn’t had to deal with Thawne in a while…it was never good when he vanished for so long. Same with Zolomon. She’ll need to ask Wally and Bart if they’d seen any of the Zooms or Reverse Flashes around. Them vanishing for prolonged periods of time in the past had just lead to absolute hell…

 

            “Wow, that’s an ugly dress,” Hallie teases, the Green Lantern busy painting Marty’s fingernails bright green. Nora was napping, but Korugarian hybrids needed a lot less sleep than speedster toddlers. “Then again, I shouldn’t say shit,” she acknowledges. “My maternity clothes during my pregnancy with Marty were basically my GL uniform since we weren’t exactly anywhere I could get regular maternity clothes.”

 

            “I was trying to pretend I wasn’t pregnant at first,” Barry admits. “I wasn’t…handling it that well that I was.”

 

            “You know, I was kinda curious when I came back to find you and Len together, with Nora,” Hallie admits. “It’s not the same sort of situation I have with Thaal. He and I have stupid tragedic backstory and betrayed and all that shit. You and Len…you know what? I’m just happy that if you had to ‘hate fuck and then fall in love’ with someone it was Len, and not say, Thawne.”

 

            “That is not what happened!” Barry says, almost offended on Len’s part.

 

            “Oh, I’m sorry, had terrifying amounts of UST, tried to redeem, got partially redeemed by Wally because Wally’s BAMF, got redeemed the rest of the way by the power of true love, had a cute squishy baby, has another on the way and is marrying you instead of being a criminal, is that a better description?” Hallie asks sweetly. She’s gently blowing on Marty’s nails, trying to dry them quickly.

 

            “Shut up,” grumbles Barry, because enough of what her friend said was true. “I can’t believe I’m starting to show already. I wasn’t showing this soon with Nora.”

 

            “You sure it’s only one baby?” Hallie asks, letting Marty pat her on the cheeks. “What did your doctor say?”

 

            “Doctor can’t tell for sure yet,” Barry admits, startling Hallie. “They couldn’t get a clear picture, had that last time too.”

 

            “Heart beat should have started up, right?” Hallie asks.

 

            “Yeah, and?”

 

            “Ask one of the Supers to listen for how many heart beats are coming from you,” Hallie suggests. “Or I can just scan you to see how many spawn you’re pregnant with.”

 

            “Don’t call my baby spawn.”

 

            “Speedster spawn then.”

 

            “ _Hallie._ ”

 

            “Yes…?”

           

            “You know what? Just scan me,” Barry sighs, realizing that he friend wasn’t going to stop being ridiculous. _She really does need to get a new best friend…_

            Barry shivers slightly as the green light scans her. It’s always felt weird to her, though according to Hallie she shouldn’t be able to feel a thing. Both theorized it had something to do with Barry’s Speed Force connection.

 

            “So congrats, you’re having twins,” Hallie says after about a minute. “Also, you need to eat more.”

 

            “I’m eating pretty much everything in front of me,” Barry grumbles. “Wait, seriously?” she demands, realizing exactly what her friend.

 

            “Yeah, congrats, you’re going to have a duo of baby speedsters this time,” Hallie says with a grin, plopping Marty onto her lap instead of the baby chair he’d been strapped to. “You and Len will never sleep again.”

           

            “Yup,” Barry sighs, replanning how they had been going to do maternity and paternity leave. “Wally and Bart are going to have to run so many extra patrols.”

 

            “But hey, at least you get two cute bundles of joy out of it,” Hallie points out, giving Marty a teething toy. “And maybe you could convince the Rogues to knock things off for a while because of your pregnancy. Not like any of the Zooms are around right now to raise hell.”

 

            “Why did you just jinx it?” Barry groans.

 

            “…Ooops. Well, we could always take advantage of Thaal now being Parallax to get rid of them.”

 

            “I may actually take you up on that,” Barry grimaces. “Especially after what happened the last time I dealt with Thawne.”

 

            “For the record, I still can’t figure out if he’s sexually obsessed with you or just normal obsessed and hating you,” Hallie comments, thinking back to the fights she’s witnessed between the two speedsters. “The most recent fight it did look like he grabbed your ass. Like, between Zolomon and Wally, yes, there is definitely a sexual component, I’ve seen them hate fuck before, which, I never need to see again, but with Thawne…maybe it’s because you two are theoretically related? If incredibly distantly? Or because he’s such a murderous douche bag for pretty much no reason?”

 

            “I like how you’re implying there’s a good reason to be a murderous douche bag,” Barry snarks. “And yeah, he did grab my butt.”

 

            “My time as Parallax was weird,” is the only real way Hallie can reply, earning herself an incredulous look from Barry. Because, well, she knew how fucking weird it was.

 

            Then again, Barry was one of the few people who knew the total truth from that time period. That during her original possession Hallie had pretty much been in complete control. Parallax was certainly amplifying the negative aspects of herself, but it wasn’t causing them or actually running the show. There was a reason she’d needed to redeem herself as Spectre (and there was another incredibly strange period in her life and she swore to fucking God, if she was right about her recent concerns relating to Stigmonus she was going _to be so fucking pissed_ ).

 

            “I wouldn’t say you were a murderous douche bag so much as incredibly fucked up during that time period,” Barry argues.

 

            “I snapped Thaal’s throat and murdered thousands of people, including many I considered friends,” Hallie points out, a bit dryly. “I was a goddamn monster during that year.”

 

            “Didn’t Sinestro not actually die then?” Barry asks, remembering hearing something about that.

 

            “Yeah, it turned out to be a hard light construct, but I didn’t realize that at the time,” Hallie says with a shrug, unbuttoning her shirt so Marty could nurse. “Still was perfectly willing to snap his throat.”

 

            “You weren’t exactly the most mentally stable. And Parallax was aggravating that,” Barry reminds her.

 

            “Being mentally unstable is no excuse for slaughtering thousands of people and trying to remake the universe in my image,” Hallie says, even more dryly. “I’m lucky Ganthet got to Kyle and gave him the ring, and that Ion possessed him. And that Ollie was willing to put me down when it finally came to that. Things were bad during the years you were dead.”

 

            “I know. I could sorta see through the Speed Force, remember?” Barry grimaces. It had been awful watching her friend destroy herself.

 

            “Oh well,” Hallie says, false cheerfulness to the max. “Things are better now, and going to keep going that way.”

 

                                                            ****************

            “Goddamnit!”

 

            Barry looks at the newspaper in horror. Eobard Thawne was back.

 

            “Damn it, Hallie jinxed it!”


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As a heads up: This takes place in the past, explaining how the hell Hallie and Sinestro got together again. I will be doing a similar thing for Len and Barry.

His hands are covered in the Guardians blood and his world is nothing but rock and rubble, billions of corpses that will never be buried. Jordan stands in front of him asking him that damnable question. The woman’s expression is open even as she still covers her eyes with that stupid little mask. _Where we ever really friends?_ They were more than that and she knows it, knows that their great tragedy will always be that at the end of the day they were at least friends.

As he speaks and turns a little voice, a voice thankfully not of the thrashing fear entity, still infuriated by Sinestro’s control speaks to him. _She loves you,_ it reminds him _. She willingly followed you to free Korugar, listened to your commands again. You think that if you asked she wouldn’t follow you this time? That after you’ve lost Korugar that she wouldn’t give you herself so that you’re not alone?_

“I have nothing left,” he says softly, feeling a tentative hand press against his shoulder.

“Thaal, please,” Hallie says, not even sure what she’s pleading for.

Please don’t go? Please don’t leave me? He suspects even she doesn’t know. Its impulse that makes his choice, not the victorious little voice at the back of his head. The monster had stilled itself at Hallie’s tentative touch as well. Even Sinestro isn’t so arrogant to think that he won’t need something to appease Parallax and Hallie appeals to both of them.

Sinestro grabs her wrist and pulls Hallie to him, twisting reality even as her friends and allies shout in realization of what he’s doing. She moves closer to him, hands resting against his chest and emerald mask fading from her face to show expressive, understanding eyes. As they step between points in existence, as the step into the furthest, unexplored regions of the universe he holds her close and breathes.

When they finally find a resting place, when he washes off the blood and gore of the Guardians, she cleans out her mouth from the sensation of death. She pulls him down on top of herself, long legs around his waist and his mouth against her throat, her mouth, her breasts. He loses himself in her body, in the faint, always there scent of ozone and life that seems to permeate Hallie’s body. He rolls them so he’s on the ground, her curled on top. He doesn’t know what to do next, he needs to think.

(When he feels new life stir within Hallie he knows he’s out of time to think)


End file.
